her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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