The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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