feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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