she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
She announced her abortion via fbk
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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