I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
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