I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
