So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
