margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
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