i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
