Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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