Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
