So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
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