You work out of a Hotel?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
