We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
