separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
