Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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