my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
