My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
