Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
