So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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