So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
