It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Randomize
