Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Apparently you make a good broom.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
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