I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
