I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
