I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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