then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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