I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
