Cold hands, warm shart.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm both gender and math confused
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