Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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