Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
