I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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