I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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