this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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