things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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