Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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