theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
But break dance skills will only take you so far
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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