You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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