You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
