so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
