Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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