We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
my nose is crying tears of wow.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
