Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
and she was petting her beer can
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
