you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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