we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You pole danced in your parka.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
