Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
