So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
