he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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