did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
