Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
