Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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