theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
love makes seman taste better
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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